No escape
unfinished letter # 12 - How's your work-life-genocide balance?
A gentle note that the letter below is part of my unfinished letters series, where I share my most tender, unvarnished thoughts on topics like Islamophobia, sincerity, and the visibility in being a visible minority. As such, today’s post includes a paywall. If you’d like to access the whole letter and want to support my writing, consider upgrading. If you are already have, thank you!
We went to a ‘aqiqa the other day, which is a Muslim baby shower that happens after the baby’s born. The parents, our friends from uni, are Lebanese and Egyptian. At the baby shower, I ran into multiple Palestinian friends, one with family in Jenin in the occupied West Bank, where the Israeli military has been launching attack after attack for months now.
How are they? I ask, bracing myself for the reply. Last time we talked was during Ramadan, and at that point, her family was still alive.
They are still still alive, alhamdulillah. And I am relieved and nervous, simultaneously.
At work, I have at least 5 different Lebanese colleagues I keep checking on. Some of them have family in the direct path of Israeli bombardment. They’ve fled, my friend tells me. We’re all just pretending their house is still standing even though the village has been bombed. They can still see and hear the bombs from their new location.
We talk in hushed voices between meetings. We hug. We go back to drafting emails about the health of our application portfolio, about the record of decisions from our IT planning sessions.
At lunch, I scroll and my friends check their messages. I want to throw my phone across the hall. I want to shout. I answer incoming notes on our workplace collab channels. Yes, I will be happy to meet with the new guy to explain our application release processes. Yes, please schedule a walkthrough. My calendar is up to date.
My old mentor reaches out to talk shop and we schedule a call. We chat about governance best practices and IT architecture principals. When we’re done, she leans forward and looks earnestly into the webcam. And how are you doing?