Costco runs with Baba

On errand visits and grocery shopping as self-care

Photo by ün LIU on Unsplash

Walking through Costco with my dad on a Saturday morning is like walking through Coachella with a rock star — I’ve never met a rock star, and I’ve never been to Coachella, but this is how I imagine it. Every few steps, we are stopped by another man from the mosque, his face lighting up in recognition. There is the traditional Arab greeting — hugs, three kisses on alternating cheeks, a quick “how’s the family?”

Our grocery runs are meditation — the repetition of the aisle walks a mantra, the hum of the shopping carts rattling along on the floor our soothing background music. Cottage cheese. Eggs. Cucumbers. Avocado oil and crushed garlic. Breathe in, breathe out. Swiffer wet-wipe refills.

The stakes are low. The tradition is familiarity and comfort. The shopping list and the conversation are braided together, punctured by the intermittent stop for samples.

My dad pushes the shopping cart while I walk alongside. His eyes scan for deals as we go. In between, he tells me dad jokes from WhatsApp, and I am a mom who loves dad jokes, especially dad jokes from my Baba. I always laugh.

We sit in the gas line next, where the cars snake forward like ants to their sustenance. I wonder what we look like from the sky in our metal bunkers, backed up on the highway, or inching along in drive-throughs? Living and loving the convenience makes me put the thought out of my mind.

After the store, there’s the ride home, and the Premier League soccer game. My boys assemble in the living room, eyes glued to the screen, voices rising and falling. Oh! each time the rush of a play falls just short. The backs of their heads all different heights against the silhouette of the sofa.

Baba drinks ginger-flavoured karak and eats a toasted sesame bagel with cheese and grapes, laments the fall of Man United, wonders when ten Hag will finally be let go.

Part of living through the heyday of these legendary teams is the pain of witnessing the inevitable collapse:
Sir Alex Ferguson and Wayne Rooney to ten Hag and Harry Maguire.
Scotty Bowman and Jean Beliveau to the Montreal Canadiens’ rebuilding roster today.

When I was a teenager, I was the one on the couch, rising and falling with every spectacular save from Jose Theodore, every smooth pass from Saku Koivu. Too young to understand the improbability that a hot streak by a Cinderella squad could lead to a championship.

Baba would sit next to me and try to watch but even then, the state of hockey was already an insult. These were the late 90’s: every team without the skill to do anything else was playing the trap, a suffocating defensive style that choked all the joy and speed and creativity out of the on-ice product.

“When I first came to Canada,” he’d lament, “the Montreal Canadiens won 6 championships in 10 years…” He’d trail off, let me watch my weak imitation until someone on the ice did something stupid. And then he’d sigh once more, list the names of the hall of famers he had seen, as if in invocation. “Larry Robinson. Guy Lafleur. Jean Beliveau.”

Baba watched hockey back then for me, for something we could do together. The same reason he comes along for our Costco runs even when he has nothing to buy.

For the errand visits. For the company. And what company it is, alhamdulillah.

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Let’s chat in the comments:

1. Is there a mundane task you love? Tell me about it.

2. Do you find grocery shopping stressful or enjoyable? What’s your routine?

I’m continuing to share resources about the situation in Gaza and the West Bank. This week, I’m sharing this report from MSNBC about Shaban Al-Dalu, the 19 year old Palestinian in Gaza who was among those burned alive by an Israeli attack on the Al-Aqsa hospital in Deir al-Balah. This report is about more than simply his pain and suffering. It tells you his story. Please watch it and get to know him as a human being instead of a statistic.

I’m also sharing this incredible interview with Ta-Nehisi Coates on the Ezra Klein show discussing his new book, The Message. This is essential listening for those still looking to learn more about the region and about how things function beyond Gaza in the rest of Israel-Palestine.