Here in Chiang Mai, we have an outdoor market around the corner from our house and a larger market that’s a 20-minute walk. We walk to one or the other every day around dusk to buy food for dinner. I love this task! It’s a nice way to connect with my partner, transition into evening, practice Thai, and take in our surrounds.
Dana, that reminds me of the markets near my sister's place in Istanbul when they were living there and we went to visit a couple of years ago. Feels like it harkens back to a more connected way of life, with a slower rhythm.
hahaaaaaa I love that story so much!! We are totally a family of nicknames too, so much so that one of my nieces was 9 years old before she realized my name was actually Noha
I loved this letter! I can't tolerate Costco - I'm a little cuckoo in large stores. I would like to think if Baba was with me I would be able to relax into the experience. It was 10 years between my last two visits and I will say I was comforted that the layout was the same each time. All my shopping these days is between small stores and a bulk produce buy at a community centre. The ease of city living means I've been able to avoid Costco lol.
Baba is generally able to get me to relax so I think he'd be good for anyone else lol... He could be like an emotional support Baba 🤣🤣
Honestly your shopping habits sound awesome. I'm not sure why I like Costco but it's probably more to do with my stupid schedule. Sometimes as an impromptu date, my husband and I will go walk through fancy cheese stores 😅
A mundane task i love is cooking, excluding the time before mh monthly period. My parents and i usually don't talk when we're outside home for shopping, we do so when we're at home watching sth. Our shopping routine starts with me writing the shopping list of whatever we need when our fridge gets empty. For buying vegetables and fruits, early morning is when we go shopping. For buying groceries, before sunset, early evening.
Noha, Mashallah, a beautiful reflection on your father and the blessed “Costco run.” I love running errands with the kids in tow because of their questions and all the random stuff they find and pick up, none of which I buy. We sometimes just stay in the book section and read the books. It’s sorta not the point of Costco but the book section is strategically placed in the center of the store, like it’s the heart of the place.
I go back and forth on loving having the kids in tow when I've got time and going nuts when I'm rushing and the questions are slowing me down, but I have to remember that their curiosity is a gift! "the heart of the place" reminded me of Maggie Smith's description of her town in Ohio. She calls it "the heart of the heart"...
Yeah, it would be sooo enjoyable to visit fresh fruit stands. Plus, fresh fruit stands are a part of every culture because that's where you can get more familiar with their culture.
So sweet masha'Allah. I visited family in Georgia over the summer and went grocery shopping with my uncle. It reminded me of running errands with my dad when I was a girl. Things that were mundane as a child are now special treats.
Masha Allah... My boys actually love coming along to Costco, mostly for the samples lol, and because then they try to influence how many treats can make it into the cart 🤣🤣
I agree that things that were mundane are now treats. Exhibit A is grocery shopping but exhibit B is definitely The Nap.
Noha, you have such a gift for painting a vivid picture so concisely. I very much enjoy your audio; hearing your own beautiful words in your voice is very comforting and really brings them alive.
Lovely portrait of a day with you dad! And the interview with Ta-Nehisi Coates was riveting, wasn’t it? I love him saying “parts of this situation are not complicated. I know what I’m seeing, and it’s apartheid.”
Yes! Somehow it’s all obfuscated with “it’s complicated!” but I love how Ta-Nehisi Coates points out that actually, the situation is quite simple when distilled down to the basic truths.
Your Baba sounds absolutely wonderful, what a gift to have a dad like him and to have such a great relationship with him.
My dad and I didn't have the smoothest of relationships but he lived with us for two years towards the end of his life and going to Costco without him was absolutely forbidden. He loved wandering around the store and buying random hoodies and zip ups for under $20, but most of all, he loved the free samples 😂
I love that you go to Costco with your Baba. I am coming to appreciate the mundane as being the actual opposite of that, especially after reading your story. My mundane task that I loved to do was pick poo from the horse paddock. I was outside, no people (usually), my two dogs by my side, along with the horse. There is something soothing about horses (and picking paddocks).
I absolutely dislike grocery shopping with a passion and always have. To the point where one day when I was with my husband going through a grocery store line, the cashier (former neighbour who had worked at two different local grocery stores we frequented) made a comment, "Oh, you're here with your hubby for a change," with a hint of...bitchy-ness? I think her christian morals were judging me for not being a better wife, mother, woman. IDK, or maybe it was just me. But it stuck with me!
Kim that's so interesting re the picking poo! I never would have thought of that but I can see your point. What a strange comment from the cashier! Was she saying that you didn't do enough, domestically? And why? And it's none of her business!! I have things that were told to me years ago that I've never forgotten too, so I get that feeling...
Yes, we do. Despite the fact that there's a hypermarket near our house that has both groceries, fruits, and vegs, its fruits and vegs aren't usually fresh. Plus, we can pick better and fresher fruits and vegs in fruit shops.
I laughed at this—“Walking through Costco with my dad on a Saturday morning is like walking through Coachella with a rock star — I’ve never met a rock star, and I’ve never been to Coachella, but this is how I imagine it.”
You have captured exactly how I feel when I walk through my family’s hometown during summer visits to Bosnia with my own Baba. Dads—they really are rockstars, aren’t they? And we’re so lucky to have them. Alhamdullilah.
What a beautifully written piece @Noha Beshir! The way you describe the routine of grocery shopping with your dad as a comforting ritual, blending familiarity and connection, is truly touching. It’s amazing how these seemingly mundane moments, like walking the aisles of Costco or sitting through a soccer game, become woven into the fabric of family life, creating deeper bonds. I especially love the juxtaposition of past and present, your dad’s nostalgia for the “glory days” of sports teams contrasted with your shared, simple pleasures of today. This really resonated with me, reminding me of how much we cherish these small, everyday rituals with our loved ones. Alhamdulillah for such company indeed!
To your question: I genuinely enjoy grocery shopping, especially when I’m on vacation and have access to a kitchen to experiment with new ingredients. There’s something exciting about wandering through foreign supermarkets and markets, discovering produce I can’t find at home. It’s like an adventure in flavors and textures, and I love trying new things. Even when I travel to Hannover for therapy, I make time to explore the grocery stores. The variety and diversity there are so refreshing compared to what’s available in my hometown of Einbeck. It adds a fun, exploratory element to an otherwise routine task.
Jay, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! and that you also love grocery shopping. It's such a low stakes form of excitement and adventure - all the exploration and the joy with no risk and very little stress. Is Einbeck a smaller town? What do you find in Hannover, produce wise? I've never been to Germany but two of my older sisters studied German and I learned how to say some very very basic words... There was a song their teacher taught them to the tune of "She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes" that went like, "Ich bin auslander und sprechen night gut deutsch" 🤣🤣
Noha, I love how you describe grocery shopping as a "low stakes adventure"—that's exactly it! Einbeck is a pretty small town of 15.000, so Hannover feels like a treasure trove in comparison. I find things like a big variety of fresh good quality meat, especially lamb from the Turkish supermarket, different cheeses as well as a bigger variety on vegetables that are harder to come by here.
I love that your sisters studied German! That song sounds hilarious, and honestly, it’s a perfect summary for the start of learning German—so relatable! If you ever make it to Germany, I’d love to hear how your adventures go. 😊
Cheeses are where my heart is at!! The smallest place I ever lived was the town of Chelsea, Quebec, with a population of about 7000. But it was only 15 minutes from Ottawa so I never truly experienced being away from a metropolis as a living situation. Plenty of times for vacation but never for long term
I really liked Ottawa, it was my most unique Youth Hostel Experience ever! Sleeping a night in the Old Ottawa Jail with the barred door... (unlocked).. but the feeling was special. Hannover has nearly 600K citizens, so quite big for German standards already. And yes, but I'd guess the regular cheese selection we get here in Europe is - if I remember correctly- bigger than Overseas. The one Supermarket has about 16-18 ft of different cheese 3 feet deep, except no Canadian or American Cheese to find there....
Such a sweet share, Noha. ❤️
Here in Chiang Mai, we have an outdoor market around the corner from our house and a larger market that’s a 20-minute walk. We walk to one or the other every day around dusk to buy food for dinner. I love this task! It’s a nice way to connect with my partner, transition into evening, practice Thai, and take in our surrounds.
Dana, that reminds me of the markets near my sister's place in Istanbul when they were living there and we went to visit a couple of years ago. Feels like it harkens back to a more connected way of life, with a slower rhythm.
i love how you call dad “baba”.
coincidentally,
when i was born my immediate elder sister who was 2 years old at the time didn’t know what to call me and started calling me “baba”.
so my parents named me after it along with my other names. Till this day, some of my relatives still call me “baba”.
hahaaaaaa I love that story so much!! We are totally a family of nicknames too, so much so that one of my nieces was 9 years old before she realized my name was actually Noha
I loved this letter! I can't tolerate Costco - I'm a little cuckoo in large stores. I would like to think if Baba was with me I would be able to relax into the experience. It was 10 years between my last two visits and I will say I was comforted that the layout was the same each time. All my shopping these days is between small stores and a bulk produce buy at a community centre. The ease of city living means I've been able to avoid Costco lol.
Baba is generally able to get me to relax so I think he'd be good for anyone else lol... He could be like an emotional support Baba 🤣🤣
Honestly your shopping habits sound awesome. I'm not sure why I like Costco but it's probably more to do with my stupid schedule. Sometimes as an impromptu date, my husband and I will go walk through fancy cheese stores 😅
Fancy food shops are a dream date! I do need an emotional support Baba! I would probably like to do Costco with one of them helping me, lol.
I can’t even really articulate the joy this brought me today.
I am your future Diaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This was a beautiful piece! The mundane can be a beautiful experience when we see it with simple humility. :)
Thank you! I think the mundane can be so peaceful. I tire of adventure ...
A mundane task i love is cooking, excluding the time before mh monthly period. My parents and i usually don't talk when we're outside home for shopping, we do so when we're at home watching sth. Our shopping routine starts with me writing the shopping list of whatever we need when our fridge gets empty. For buying vegetables and fruits, early morning is when we go shopping. For buying groceries, before sunset, early evening.
So interesting! Do you go to different places for fruits and veg rather than groceries?
Noha, Mashallah, a beautiful reflection on your father and the blessed “Costco run.” I love running errands with the kids in tow because of their questions and all the random stuff they find and pick up, none of which I buy. We sometimes just stay in the book section and read the books. It’s sorta not the point of Costco but the book section is strategically placed in the center of the store, like it’s the heart of the place.
Love this. ❤️
I go back and forth on loving having the kids in tow when I've got time and going nuts when I'm rushing and the questions are slowing me down, but I have to remember that their curiosity is a gift! "the heart of the place" reminded me of Maggie Smith's description of her town in Ohio. She calls it "the heart of the heart"...
Yeah, it would be sooo enjoyable to visit fresh fruit stands. Plus, fresh fruit stands are a part of every culture because that's where you can get more familiar with their culture.
So sweet masha'Allah. I visited family in Georgia over the summer and went grocery shopping with my uncle. It reminded me of running errands with my dad when I was a girl. Things that were mundane as a child are now special treats.
Masha Allah... My boys actually love coming along to Costco, mostly for the samples lol, and because then they try to influence how many treats can make it into the cart 🤣🤣
I agree that things that were mundane are now treats. Exhibit A is grocery shopping but exhibit B is definitely The Nap.
Noha, you have such a gift for painting a vivid picture so concisely. I very much enjoy your audio; hearing your own beautiful words in your voice is very comforting and really brings them alive.
Also, just got my copy of Coates’ new book in the mail today. If you haven’t watched his interview on Trevor Noah’s podcast, it’s not to be missed.
Lovely portrait of a day with you dad! And the interview with Ta-Nehisi Coates was riveting, wasn’t it? I love him saying “parts of this situation are not complicated. I know what I’m seeing, and it’s apartheid.”
Yes! Somehow it’s all obfuscated with “it’s complicated!” but I love how Ta-Nehisi Coates points out that actually, the situation is quite simple when distilled down to the basic truths.
Your Baba sounds absolutely wonderful, what a gift to have a dad like him and to have such a great relationship with him.
My dad and I didn't have the smoothest of relationships but he lived with us for two years towards the end of his life and going to Costco without him was absolutely forbidden. He loved wandering around the store and buying random hoodies and zip ups for under $20, but most of all, he loved the free samples 😂
The free samples!!!! Yes exactly. May Allah swt reward you for taking care of him towards the end. It's hard to resist those random hoodies sometimes.
I love that you go to Costco with your Baba. I am coming to appreciate the mundane as being the actual opposite of that, especially after reading your story. My mundane task that I loved to do was pick poo from the horse paddock. I was outside, no people (usually), my two dogs by my side, along with the horse. There is something soothing about horses (and picking paddocks).
I absolutely dislike grocery shopping with a passion and always have. To the point where one day when I was with my husband going through a grocery store line, the cashier (former neighbour who had worked at two different local grocery stores we frequented) made a comment, "Oh, you're here with your hubby for a change," with a hint of...bitchy-ness? I think her christian morals were judging me for not being a better wife, mother, woman. IDK, or maybe it was just me. But it stuck with me!
Kim that's so interesting re the picking poo! I never would have thought of that but I can see your point. What a strange comment from the cashier! Was she saying that you didn't do enough, domestically? And why? And it's none of her business!! I have things that were told to me years ago that I've never forgotten too, so I get that feeling...
Yes, we do. Despite the fact that there's a hypermarket near our house that has both groceries, fruits, and vegs, its fruits and vegs aren't usually fresh. Plus, we can pick better and fresher fruits and vegs in fruit shops.
When we visit countries that are more tropical, we love going to the fresh fruit stands.
I laughed at this—“Walking through Costco with my dad on a Saturday morning is like walking through Coachella with a rock star — I’ve never met a rock star, and I’ve never been to Coachella, but this is how I imagine it.”
You have captured exactly how I feel when I walk through my family’s hometown during summer visits to Bosnia with my own Baba. Dads—they really are rockstars, aren’t they? And we’re so lucky to have them. Alhamdullilah.
Raza this made my day! Babas really are rockstars. I love that you have that experience with yours too. Alhamdulillah.
What a beautifully written piece @Noha Beshir! The way you describe the routine of grocery shopping with your dad as a comforting ritual, blending familiarity and connection, is truly touching. It’s amazing how these seemingly mundane moments, like walking the aisles of Costco or sitting through a soccer game, become woven into the fabric of family life, creating deeper bonds. I especially love the juxtaposition of past and present, your dad’s nostalgia for the “glory days” of sports teams contrasted with your shared, simple pleasures of today. This really resonated with me, reminding me of how much we cherish these small, everyday rituals with our loved ones. Alhamdulillah for such company indeed!
To your question: I genuinely enjoy grocery shopping, especially when I’m on vacation and have access to a kitchen to experiment with new ingredients. There’s something exciting about wandering through foreign supermarkets and markets, discovering produce I can’t find at home. It’s like an adventure in flavors and textures, and I love trying new things. Even when I travel to Hannover for therapy, I make time to explore the grocery stores. The variety and diversity there are so refreshing compared to what’s available in my hometown of Einbeck. It adds a fun, exploratory element to an otherwise routine task.
Jay, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! and that you also love grocery shopping. It's such a low stakes form of excitement and adventure - all the exploration and the joy with no risk and very little stress. Is Einbeck a smaller town? What do you find in Hannover, produce wise? I've never been to Germany but two of my older sisters studied German and I learned how to say some very very basic words... There was a song their teacher taught them to the tune of "She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes" that went like, "Ich bin auslander und sprechen night gut deutsch" 🤣🤣
Noha, I love how you describe grocery shopping as a "low stakes adventure"—that's exactly it! Einbeck is a pretty small town of 15.000, so Hannover feels like a treasure trove in comparison. I find things like a big variety of fresh good quality meat, especially lamb from the Turkish supermarket, different cheeses as well as a bigger variety on vegetables that are harder to come by here.
I love that your sisters studied German! That song sounds hilarious, and honestly, it’s a perfect summary for the start of learning German—so relatable! If you ever make it to Germany, I’d love to hear how your adventures go. 😊
Cheeses are where my heart is at!! The smallest place I ever lived was the town of Chelsea, Quebec, with a population of about 7000. But it was only 15 minutes from Ottawa so I never truly experienced being away from a metropolis as a living situation. Plenty of times for vacation but never for long term
I really liked Ottawa, it was my most unique Youth Hostel Experience ever! Sleeping a night in the Old Ottawa Jail with the barred door... (unlocked).. but the feeling was special. Hannover has nearly 600K citizens, so quite big for German standards already. And yes, but I'd guess the regular cheese selection we get here in Europe is - if I remember correctly- bigger than Overseas. The one Supermarket has about 16-18 ft of different cheese 3 feet deep, except no Canadian or American Cheese to find there....