We were sitting in front of our lockers, eating our lunch, when my friend Katherine started talking about the unit on Islam they had just started in her World Religions class.
Holly, you're so welcome. There's something cathartic about this, about sharing stories like this and then having them validated. We carry this pain inside us and sometimes sharing the stories and having people acknowledge that something was truly awful is healing.
Oh, Noha! My stomach is still in knots over the literature debacle. Good for Mr. Rayburn for recognizing not only his gaps in knowledge but also your abilities as a presenter. You’ve got a great idea for the new series.
Reading this, and after years in university classrooms, I kept thinking about the bell hooks essay about "native informants," in her book Teaching to Transgress. Making a student a guest expert also reinforces their Otherness, and makes it difficult to support their own educational and emotional needs in that academic situation. It would also require the teachers themselves to be much better informed. In the comparative religion class, I wondered if there had been any students from First Nations, or if their practices would not have even been considered spirituality?
Elizabeth, this is so helpful and adds a lot of factors I had never considered. The teachers were definitely not better informed, whether we're referring to the ones who were explicitly discriminatory or the ones who were kind and let me come in to "teach" the class.
There were no students from First Nations - it was a VERY white school, and as far as I know, they didn't cover any of their practices or consider them. Which, considering the subject was called "World Religions" is so unfortunate.
Glad to be of use. It is an excellent essay, and really made me question both my own teaching practice, as well as experience as an ethnically ambiguous faculty member. Live and keep learning.
Good for you for choosing a thoughtful way to fight back against harmful stereotypes. I just told my son today I wish I had known earlier in my life that I don’t have to explain myself or prove my humanity to anybody.
Boooo Ms. Blanchette! I think a lot about moments like these in classrooms where a teacher clearly is holding some harmful notions about a group of people. I can’t imagine how she taught about other groups of people.
Also, I’m on the app, and can’t see this on my feed. I also went on your website and it’s not showing up on your website. I think it’s something you can adjust in your settings - but maybe you wanted it that way? (I could be wrong though). Would hate for your readers to miss this.
You did it! I see it now! I think this convinced me to do sections. What I’d like to know now is how the dashboard is now with a section. Like what changes and what stays the same - if anything. Not asking just wondering. Time to go bother some Substack people and do some research!
The only change I've seen is that within the "Settings" tab in the dashboard, you have a Section, and you can edit options within that section. Otherwise my dashboard looks pretty much the same.
I wanted the section to show up at the top of the page and then for content in it to only appear in that section, rather than on the main page. BUT if people were signed up for the email, they would receive it. For the first post, I intentionally published without sending an email because I was publishing the ‘introducing’ post at the same time and that one was going out by email.
Given that the section doesn’t appear on the app, I’m going to uncheck the setting that says ‘don’t post this to my main page’ (if I can find it again. That way, people scrolling will hopefully find it regardless. TBD if it works.
I only had Ms Blanchette for literature related classes, but you’re right! How she would have talked about other groups of ppl is awful to consider.
I want one of your presentations! Shame on me that I have spent all these years not knowing what "Jihad" meant. You are a trusted source of information, and I believe you can clarify and correct a lot of misperceptions that have seeped into the consciousness of people, like me, not as familiar as we should be about one of the three foundational monotheist religions.
Just found this, and how timely it is in the wake of seeing how someone tried to mansplain to Margaret Atwood herself how The Handmaid's Tale is based on Islamic, not Christian, fundamentalism.
What an illuminating story, Noha, and I'm glad you had such supportive friends and even one supportive teacher. I can feel your tender struggle with feeling the need to share and explain so that people will have ANY access to correct information, and feeling the desire to live your life as you are and not need to brace whenever someone approaches you or a teacher can't get past their own deeply ingrained beliefs. I also read your essay about the lead up to Bill 21. Wow. I agree with the person who suggested a "heart" rather than a "like" button for these topics. Couching racism in terms of "religious neutrality" that is clearly not neutral (do they stop people from wearing necklaces with crosses or stars of David, for example?) is despicable and, as you share so powerfully and poignantly in your essay, sadly not as surprising as it should be. The grossness of discussing "ideology" without truly comprehending the "daily lives of of people" as you put it, really stands out. And is just as relevant today in Gaza where the very narrow definition of "people" clearly does not include Palestinians (that AI article about the "acceptable" civilian losses and the "ideal" situation of targeting a home... adjectives aren't available to describe the horror). I continue to read your work with compassion and gratitude, and I continue to work and pray for the re-humanizing of all people and the re-sacredizing (not a word? re-sacred-seeing?) of this Earth and our human and more-than-human kin. Thank you for writing. I wish you peace in every way you can receive it.
That's really gross. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
I once had a professor ask my black friend if she could get hickies. He had tenure, so despite the many complaints about him (around this and other incidents) he remained in his position. :(
The office kitchen is perpetually gross. Working in an office that's over 5/6th cis straight white men, I decided a while ago I wasn't going to be the office wife and clean up after them. Yesterday my boss was walking by the kitchen, saw me in it looking forlorn, and asked "Still having kitchen problems?" I said "There's food particles all over the dishes in the drying rack. These aren't clean." He said "Guys don't like clean dishes, they like the extra flavor!" and started to walk off. I called behind him "I don't want to feel like the office wife!" to no response. After staring at the nasty communal dishes in the nasty communal drying rack for a little longer while the water for my tea bubbled behind me, knowing I had to select a spoon to use to stir my tea, I caved. I threw every dish in the sink, disassembled the drying rack, threw it in the sink, poured hot water and soap over everything, and scrubbed it all spotless. There was a colored sludge on the bottom of the drying rack where water had dripped off the food, then evaporated. I rinsed everything and set it back up, clean, then went ahead and scrubbed the scummy sink and the area around it. My boss was passing again, on his way to the bathroom. I said "I did it. I went full office wife, and it's clean in there, now." His response? "Atta girl, way to be a team player," before disappearing into the bathroom. The whole sequence left me with a boiling rage inside.
Oh my goodness I am ENRAGED just reading this. I want to say "I can't imagine" but I really really can. UGH!!!
Atta girl. Atta girl???!!!
Do you have an option to bring your own kitchen stuff and then keep it at your desk/office when you're done. Instead of washing any of their grossness ever again?
I can...I guess I haven't brought my own silverware or bowls yet because I wouldn't want to leave them on the drying rack, but if I brought an actually absorbent dish towel, too, I could dry them... I guess at that point the only thing would be that the sink is sometimes scummy and full of food chunks and it's shallow enough I have to set my kettle down into the sink to fill it up, so I'll still have to scrub out the sink. 🙄 One suggestion I've gotten from a coworker is to get a minifridge to keep in my own office so that no one else uses it, but I told her it doesn't feel like that expense should be mine to bear, and also I can't replumb the building to have my own, clean sink.
What I'm doing is applying to other places. I had a second interview with a place that would have basically 0 white men on staff, so that's fun. :)
Thank you for sharing your experience. (And I’m so sorry you had to have it.) I look forward to reading more of these letters!
Holly, you're so welcome. There's something cathartic about this, about sharing stories like this and then having them validated. We carry this pain inside us and sometimes sharing the stories and having people acknowledge that something was truly awful is healing.
Oh, Noha! My stomach is still in knots over the literature debacle. Good for Mr. Rayburn for recognizing not only his gaps in knowledge but also your abilities as a presenter. You’ve got a great idea for the new series.
Mr. Rayburn was so awesome! Katherine and I are still very close friends.
Reading this, and after years in university classrooms, I kept thinking about the bell hooks essay about "native informants," in her book Teaching to Transgress. Making a student a guest expert also reinforces their Otherness, and makes it difficult to support their own educational and emotional needs in that academic situation. It would also require the teachers themselves to be much better informed. In the comparative religion class, I wondered if there had been any students from First Nations, or if their practices would not have even been considered spirituality?
Elizabeth, this is so helpful and adds a lot of factors I had never considered. The teachers were definitely not better informed, whether we're referring to the ones who were explicitly discriminatory or the ones who were kind and let me come in to "teach" the class.
There were no students from First Nations - it was a VERY white school, and as far as I know, they didn't cover any of their practices or consider them. Which, considering the subject was called "World Religions" is so unfortunate.
Glad to be of use. It is an excellent essay, and really made me question both my own teaching practice, as well as experience as an ethnically ambiguous faculty member. Live and keep learning.
Good for you for choosing a thoughtful way to fight back against harmful stereotypes. I just told my son today I wish I had known earlier in my life that I don’t have to explain myself or prove my humanity to anybody.
Boooo Ms. Blanchette! I think a lot about moments like these in classrooms where a teacher clearly is holding some harmful notions about a group of people. I can’t imagine how she taught about other groups of people.
Also, I’m on the app, and can’t see this on my feed. I also went on your website and it’s not showing up on your website. I think it’s something you can adjust in your settings - but maybe you wanted it that way? (I could be wrong though). Would hate for your readers to miss this.
I fixed it. Let me know if you see it on the app now, on the main page.
You did it! I see it now! I think this convinced me to do sections. What I’d like to know now is how the dashboard is now with a section. Like what changes and what stays the same - if anything. Not asking just wondering. Time to go bother some Substack people and do some research!
The only change I've seen is that within the "Settings" tab in the dashboard, you have a Section, and you can edit options within that section. Otherwise my dashboard looks pretty much the same.
Thank you Noha for helping me with this!
I wanted the section to show up at the top of the page and then for content in it to only appear in that section, rather than on the main page. BUT if people were signed up for the email, they would receive it. For the first post, I intentionally published without sending an email because I was publishing the ‘introducing’ post at the same time and that one was going out by email.
Given that the section doesn’t appear on the app, I’m going to uncheck the setting that says ‘don’t post this to my main page’ (if I can find it again. That way, people scrolling will hopefully find it regardless. TBD if it works.
I only had Ms Blanchette for literature related classes, but you’re right! How she would have talked about other groups of ppl is awful to consider.
Noha,
I want one of your presentations! Shame on me that I have spent all these years not knowing what "Jihad" meant. You are a trusted source of information, and I believe you can clarify and correct a lot of misperceptions that have seeped into the consciousness of people, like me, not as familiar as we should be about one of the three foundational monotheist religions.
Best,
David
Thank you so much, David! I'll give you a presentation one time - or even maybe post an "Islam 101" within this section for people to resource.
Any resource would be great.
I'll work on that!
Just found this, and how timely it is in the wake of seeing how someone tried to mansplain to Margaret Atwood herself how The Handmaid's Tale is based on Islamic, not Christian, fundamentalism.
My speed reading teacher in college said I couldn’t reach a certain level of speed & still achieve accuracy. I proved him wrong.
Good for you!! Teachers are so critical to our development and it sucks when they treat us in a dismissive way.
What an illuminating story, Noha, and I'm glad you had such supportive friends and even one supportive teacher. I can feel your tender struggle with feeling the need to share and explain so that people will have ANY access to correct information, and feeling the desire to live your life as you are and not need to brace whenever someone approaches you or a teacher can't get past their own deeply ingrained beliefs. I also read your essay about the lead up to Bill 21. Wow. I agree with the person who suggested a "heart" rather than a "like" button for these topics. Couching racism in terms of "religious neutrality" that is clearly not neutral (do they stop people from wearing necklaces with crosses or stars of David, for example?) is despicable and, as you share so powerfully and poignantly in your essay, sadly not as surprising as it should be. The grossness of discussing "ideology" without truly comprehending the "daily lives of of people" as you put it, really stands out. And is just as relevant today in Gaza where the very narrow definition of "people" clearly does not include Palestinians (that AI article about the "acceptable" civilian losses and the "ideal" situation of targeting a home... adjectives aren't available to describe the horror). I continue to read your work with compassion and gratitude, and I continue to work and pray for the re-humanizing of all people and the re-sacredizing (not a word? re-sacred-seeing?) of this Earth and our human and more-than-human kin. Thank you for writing. I wish you peace in every way you can receive it.
That's really gross. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
I once had a professor ask my black friend if she could get hickies. He had tenure, so despite the many complaints about him (around this and other incidents) he remained in his position. :(
That is truly awful! Your poor friend. My hope is that the people who are like that get fewer and fewer in the world.
That would be great! I'm not sure how hopeful I am. Got hit with a big misogyny bomb at work today, myself.
Oh yuck! I'm so sorry and I'm sending you a virtual hug. I'm here if you want to talk about it.
The office kitchen is perpetually gross. Working in an office that's over 5/6th cis straight white men, I decided a while ago I wasn't going to be the office wife and clean up after them. Yesterday my boss was walking by the kitchen, saw me in it looking forlorn, and asked "Still having kitchen problems?" I said "There's food particles all over the dishes in the drying rack. These aren't clean." He said "Guys don't like clean dishes, they like the extra flavor!" and started to walk off. I called behind him "I don't want to feel like the office wife!" to no response. After staring at the nasty communal dishes in the nasty communal drying rack for a little longer while the water for my tea bubbled behind me, knowing I had to select a spoon to use to stir my tea, I caved. I threw every dish in the sink, disassembled the drying rack, threw it in the sink, poured hot water and soap over everything, and scrubbed it all spotless. There was a colored sludge on the bottom of the drying rack where water had dripped off the food, then evaporated. I rinsed everything and set it back up, clean, then went ahead and scrubbed the scummy sink and the area around it. My boss was passing again, on his way to the bathroom. I said "I did it. I went full office wife, and it's clean in there, now." His response? "Atta girl, way to be a team player," before disappearing into the bathroom. The whole sequence left me with a boiling rage inside.
Oh my goodness I am ENRAGED just reading this. I want to say "I can't imagine" but I really really can. UGH!!!
Atta girl. Atta girl???!!!
Do you have an option to bring your own kitchen stuff and then keep it at your desk/office when you're done. Instead of washing any of their grossness ever again?
I can...I guess I haven't brought my own silverware or bowls yet because I wouldn't want to leave them on the drying rack, but if I brought an actually absorbent dish towel, too, I could dry them... I guess at that point the only thing would be that the sink is sometimes scummy and full of food chunks and it's shallow enough I have to set my kettle down into the sink to fill it up, so I'll still have to scrub out the sink. 🙄 One suggestion I've gotten from a coworker is to get a minifridge to keep in my own office so that no one else uses it, but I told her it doesn't feel like that expense should be mine to bear, and also I can't replumb the building to have my own, clean sink.
What I'm doing is applying to other places. I had a second interview with a place that would have basically 0 white men on staff, so that's fun. :)
All stereotypes are facile and lazy reasoning. Be better.
Sadly I think you’re right. And yet at the same time, it’s easier for those who are like minded to find each other through sites like this now, too
(I want a heart button for misogyny bombs, not a Like button!)