As someone who has been asked many times if I’ve got an easier name or nickname, everything you write rings true. We have a Mo (I met him as a Mo) and now I feel emboldened enough to ask him if he’d rather we call him Mohammad.
Ok, now I must ask the Mo in my life what he prefers, too! (He introduced himself as Mo, but you never know). My go to is to never use abbreviations of people's names unless they say it themselves, probably because I am sensitive to having felt no agency over my own name.
My parents always called me by a hyphenated name. Imagine my surprise when I became old enough to see my own birth certificate and realized…they had forgotten to record it hyphenated with the government. Lol.
My three older sisters have never called me by my given name. Like, ever. I'm almost 50 and I am "Aunty X" to their children. People still ask me what my nickname means or what the origins are, and the truth is nicknames made up by children under the age of six usually don't make any sense.
When I was 15 years old, I decided to drop the second part of my hyphenated first name. My mother was so angry. Even though it's not on my passport or birth certificate or any other document.
Names are such a fascinating topic, to me. I never took my husband's name when I got married because I like my father's surname too much. But I joke about changing it because of my allegedly hyphenated first name: my husband's name is a Dutch name, two words, the first being a "de" with a little D. If you were to string my names together with his and my last name combined, it sounds like a children's song from the 1800s. I just don't want five actual words for my name on my legal documents because I've heard from other friends who come from cultures with many different names that it can be cumbersome.
I need to write a whole other essay about nicknames lol. Egyptians are so big on nicknames - I have several. Nannoosa, Noosa, etc. One of my nieces heard my sister call me Noha a few years ago and was like "who's Noha?", she'd never heard me called anything other than Noosa.
My nephew was nicknamed Tooty as a baby - now he's 7 and they have to phase it out because, well, he's seven!
The multiple name thing - that needs it's own essay too... Arabs didn't traditionally have a "last name" so much as just a regurgitation of their entire lineage. So your name would be your name + dads name + dads' dads' name + and continue up the chain forever. Which made official documentation VERY tricky... I'm relieved that my official name is super simple. First and last. No more.
Yes! This is my understanding of how Native American names are given as well: that the lineage is such a part of one's identity, and therefore one's name, that naming oneself for example in public or in ceremony goes on for many minutes. I am open to correction here - as I say, this is my understanding.
It varies by language and culture. Like people of any other continent or global region, there's no one way to be Native American (or First Nation Canadian, etc.). If you have read Ursula Le Guin's Earthsea books, she based the custom of receiving different names for different life stages, or after significant life events, on some native Californian practices documented for Euro-Americans by her father, Alfred Kroeber (one of the founders of American Anthropology). The next time you see a reference to something like this, and the source does not cite the people or language it comes from, you can look forward to the pleasure of researching it and learning more!
I especially love her later Earthsea books (e.g. Tehanu), and most especially her unusual book "Always Coming Home". She imagines a far future after the collapse of the American civilization we know now, set in what looks like northwestern California, and does ethnographic research among a peaceful, matriarchal culture in "The Valley" there. She includes a very compelling oral history of one woman's life story as the daughter of a man who returns to The Valley as the leader of a patriarchal, authoritarian invading force. She has sections on cosmology and poetry and material culture as well--and she collaborated with musicians to make a tie-in recording of "Songs and Poetry of the Kesh"! She also interjects little wittily ironic interrogations of herself and her motives in creating this world and writing the book this way. It's one of my favorite things. :)
That sounds amazing! I’ve been struggling with novel reading for some time - I think it’s a burnout response. But I’m finally starting again - last week, on vacation, I read an incredible novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and it was so beautiful and immersive. I am slowly working my way up to read more, and maybe eventually I can get to this type of immersive experience.
Also, I really like the idea of receiving different names for different life stages or after significant life events. I've been writing about how life changes us, wondering what it is to change beyond recognition, and it feels fitting that identity and our identifier can shift together. I often feel that the name that was given to me at birth doesn't fully fit who I am now or who I may become. Nicknames also point to different phases of life. Even being called "mama" or its equivalent is a name that fits a life phase. Thanks again for sharing this perspective.
Thank you, Abbie. My source was my partner's experience participating in sweat lodge for years with local Tohono O'odham community. I receive and appreciate this reminder that there is no one way to be First Nation or Indigenous and I will keep doing the research! I love Ursula Le Guin and haven't read the Earthsea books. I appreciate the reference and this conversation with Noha very much.
Love this essay, and the comments! I should have put my anecdote here but I squished it into a restack 🤷🏻♀️…and i identify with the subtopic of nicknames and last names, omgggg….It is so fun to have this conversation 🤩 it gets convoluted 🥸
😂😂😂 omg we need to do a podcast or something because i could really go ON AND ON about how people pronounce my last name… 😭😭😭😭it’s a horror show mostly. the variations i’ve heard over the decades are fascinating.
and technically it’s spelled wrong. when my dad did initial paperwork long ago, some German bureaucrat spelled it like this, and my dad didn’t feel like getting it fixed 😆
So, the Mo I referred to in my comment prefers to use Mo. BUT, I shared your newsletter with my spouse, who asked his co-worker Mo, and he shared he only used Mo because his teachers claimed Mohattar (sp?) was too hard to remember. I'm not surprised by this but I am aggravated by it. My spouse told him 'unless you don't want me to, I would prefer to call you Mohattar' - Mohattar it is. Thanks again for this lovely essay. <3
OMG I'm so upset for Mohattar. (And I'm also surprised that I still get upset and surprised, because of course this happened). Really glad your spouse asked and got that answer. Grateful you ran with it.
Thank YOU for this essay! My spouse is in his 50s, and he said Mohattar is in his early 20s. My hope for society is that changing people's names without asking, simply for one's laziness/lack of effort stops being normalized.
This resonates with me, too! I do have the hyphen in my official paperwork, but didn't notice on my latest passport that they'd omitted it, and it almost caused me to not be able to get a new driver's license when I moved to a new state - my "official documents" didn't match. I had to get a corrected passport so I can be the "right" person on all my paperwork. I also have no middle name, but people always assume the "second name" in my first name is a middle name... it goes on. As a kid I dreamed of having a middle name like everyone else, (Anne-Marie Leigh Corley always sounded fun to me, though as a writer now it sounds a big sing-song-y). And now I LOVE, as you say, Noha, that my official name has no extras to it. All my names are used, first and last, nothing extraneous in the middle. That said, I'm totally considering four names for a child if I have one.... :P Oh, the nuance! It's a fun topic. And a weighty one, as this post and its discussion reveal. Our names are such a part of our identity, and it makes sense in that sense to name ourselves and our children from our lineage. And, to have some fun.
Last thing I'll add is that I wrote one of my college essays about the hyphen in my name, and how important it was to me... to differentiate myself by name, also being a twin, was a huge deal to me. Now I just appreciate my name and also have a slew of nicknames that have nothing to do with my actual name or that are the same name but in other languages.
Ok the passport thing is crazy! Ugh I'm so frustrated for you but I think I'm also sleep deprived and thus easily frustrated heheheh...
I would love to read this essay! Do you know where it is? Are you comfortable sharing it? I do think your name is an excellent "writer's name" as you put it.
Thank you, Noha! I have looked for a hard copy but it seems I decided at some point to release it (not too sad about that, though). If I can find a digital copy that survived transfer from floppy disk, I'll share it with you. <3
Noha this essay makes me think of a recent discussion I had about names being changed at Ellis Island over the years. It’s really a myth that was perpetuated—when the facts were that most people changed their own names either themselves or in their home country pre-arrival to the US to make them sound easier—more “American.”
That's fascinating! Thank you for sharing the article. Yeah, Mohamed is super ubiquitous. I'm one of four girls, and three of us are married to Mohameds lol. The guys have to go by their last names when they're together.
Yeah, regarding the second question, it does bother me sometimes. And what bothers me even more is how most of the time the "normal" is a synonym for western, English/American, while something that doesn't belong in western cultures is seen as "other". I was born and lived until recently in Eastern Europe, but now I'm mostly in an international environment, and I'm starting to notice how much of the "international" is actually mainstream western.
"International" really is just mainstream western. Which is a direct result of colonization and globalization. I benefit greatly from English being so widely spoken when I travel, but when you stop to think about why it's so widely spoken, it's not a good reason lol.
I remember in the summer of 2022, we went to Turkey to visit, and it was the first time I'd been in a country where many people did NOT speak English, and did not bend over backwards to accommodate my English. And it was weird! I'd gotten so used to the privilege of my go-to language being catered to, that I was annoyed at how much I had to rely on Google translate, or my nieces, who had been living there for a few years and learned Turkish. I'm pretty embarrassed to admit this, of course. I was the one in their country, not the other way around.
True, it's really convenient that English is so widely spoken, but on the other hand, it plays a major role in imposing western values on "other" cultures and deciding what's cool and popular and what's not. And don't even get me started on how internet helps it happen.
All true!! I'm happy that we're seeing more media from other cultures. Korean, Turkish, etc.... I mostly function in a Western paradigm but there are other ways of being, and they're all valid and valuable.
Absolutely! Sometimes I make a conscious effort to seek out media from more diverse cultures. Partly because I want to explore different perspectives, and partly because I'm getting sick of the "americanness" of the internet culture.
Yes. And every time I notice, it makes me 'itch'. Names are so important. It is only respectful to give people the time to roll their full and real names around in your mouth. I always ask when I notice that people are using a shortened 'Westernized' version, whether they would prefer to be called by their real name or to at least let me give it a try. Names are identity and I want people to know I'm happy to make an effort to know them. After all, I certainly hope they won't call me 'Da'!
I’ve always been bothered by how Non Muslims (and many Muslims) shorten the name Muhammad to Mo. This is the name of our beloved Prophet, who Allah chose to be the person our religion is based from. It’s an honorable name. It’s a name that screams “I’m a Muslim”. It’s a beautiful name, and that’s why it’s so popular.
I’m a life long Liverpool supporter, and someone who regularly used Mo instead of Mohammed, so I’m happy to report your writing has moved me to change that. This is a poignant piece on the importance and culture of language, and names we’re born into
A great post, Noha. I had a colleague in Cairo called Mohammed Mohammed (that was the spelling he used). He was one of several Mohammeds, as you can imagine. We all called him Mohammed and everyone always seemed to know who we were talking about. There wasn't a single "Mo". By the way, although not a football fan myself, I once met Salah. He was truly charming. Needless to say, I threw dignity to one side and asked him for a selfie and to sign a football shirt for my son, who's a Liverpool fan.
In Egypt you can’t walk into a room without running into a Mohamed. Like if I did a tally of the number of Mohammad’s I know, I may never get to the end !
Do tell more about how you met Salah. What was the circumstance?
It's complicated, but basically a work thing. I was accompanying an Egyptian delegation to Liverpool University, and the chance arose to pop along to see Salah at the Liverpool training facility. He'd quite recently arrived.
I remember my mom telling me the story of how when her older sisters took her to register for her first day of grade school in Cleveland, Ohio, they changed her name from Stanislava to Sue -- to "Americanize" her and make it easier for teachers to say her name. First generation immigrant families from Eastern European countries were low on the pecking order. There is so much in a name, as your writing powerfully illustrates.
She stayed 'Sue' for the rest of her life, sometimes alternated with "Sylvia." But she told the story well and it taught me a lot about what it means to be from an immigrant family, even though I was another generation removed from that.
I’ve always wished for a unique and different name. Mine being so plain and boring! I suppose as a youngster having something unique—whether culturally or because your parents were hippies and wanted to name you River it might not have been so great. But as an adult, different is cool! We almost named our daughter Mystic after a beautiful west coast beach, but thought against it when we pictured her at school, likely getting teased! Naming someone is an honour and challenge!
Awww Kim, I'm glad you held back for your daughter's sake. Isn't it funny that we want unique names as we're older, but want to fit in when younger. If only we could change our names when we were older without hurting our parents' feeling or feeling like something had changed.
It is both an honour and challenge. Mystic is actually gorgeous sounding.
Love this. I haven’t thought hard enough about it and I’m sure most white/ non Muslim people haven’t either.
It’s such a subtle thing, destroying identity. There are many examples in Scotland too where Gaelic road signs are constantly complained about and where place and people’s names have been slightly misspelled and mispronounced for so long that to say them or spell them correctly becomes somehow offensive.
Thanks, Ruth. And yes, I imagine that the experience for both Scottish and Irish is very similar. The English is just assumed to be proper, even if it's not the actual correct name or word. Wish is bonkers but if you push something onto people enough, they eventually absorb it.
You have articulated my thoughts on this very well! I wonder if shortening Mohamed to Mo is part of the sports culture as I feel the same about Mo Farah's name. Does the short Anglicised Mo fits better when a sports player or athlete is representing a Western country?
Honestly sports culture is obsessed with nickhnames, but I know a lot of other Mohameds who people constantly call "Mo" without asking if they're ok with it first, so I'm not sure if it's a sports specific thing.
As to your other question, "Does the short Anglicised Mo fit better when an athlete is representing a Western country?" - I guess what I'm arguing is that it shouldn't, that other names that once weren't considered common are now part of the wider lexicon because people learned them, and that Mohamed can be to. I think our tendency to assume people can't say it is premature. I know they won't get every letter exactly right, but the effort counts.
Lovely piece Noha, thank you for sharing. Your story resonates deeply.
I think so much of this cultural shift is damage already done and it’s our generation (assuming we’re both 2nd-gen immigrants) job to reverse that and carry our Eastern heritage forward. I too wish to be a ‘baba’ one day, with my teammates and children calling out my full name as I run down the wing alongside Mohammeds and Yassines.
Amen amen to that! And I agree with you Thad it’s up to us - second gen here and doing my best to pass along the pride to my kids while recognizing that they are another generation along
As someone who has been asked many times if I’ve got an easier name or nickname, everything you write rings true. We have a Mo (I met him as a Mo) and now I feel emboldened enough to ask him if he’d rather we call him Mohammad.
And just to add: easier? People want your make to be easier?? It’s 3 letters long!!!
Haha you’re going to laugh but my internet name is a nickname for my longer, more complex IRL name 🤣🤣🤣
Well this is a huge relief because honestly I was dumbfounded by these people lol.
Oooh let me know what he prefers. I'm definitely invested now.
Ok, now I must ask the Mo in my life what he prefers, too! (He introduced himself as Mo, but you never know). My go to is to never use abbreviations of people's names unless they say it themselves, probably because I am sensitive to having felt no agency over my own name.
My parents always called me by a hyphenated name. Imagine my surprise when I became old enough to see my own birth certificate and realized…they had forgotten to record it hyphenated with the government. Lol.
My three older sisters have never called me by my given name. Like, ever. I'm almost 50 and I am "Aunty X" to their children. People still ask me what my nickname means or what the origins are, and the truth is nicknames made up by children under the age of six usually don't make any sense.
When I was 15 years old, I decided to drop the second part of my hyphenated first name. My mother was so angry. Even though it's not on my passport or birth certificate or any other document.
Names are such a fascinating topic, to me. I never took my husband's name when I got married because I like my father's surname too much. But I joke about changing it because of my allegedly hyphenated first name: my husband's name is a Dutch name, two words, the first being a "de" with a little D. If you were to string my names together with his and my last name combined, it sounds like a children's song from the 1800s. I just don't want five actual words for my name on my legal documents because I've heard from other friends who come from cultures with many different names that it can be cumbersome.
I need to write a whole other essay about nicknames lol. Egyptians are so big on nicknames - I have several. Nannoosa, Noosa, etc. One of my nieces heard my sister call me Noha a few years ago and was like "who's Noha?", she'd never heard me called anything other than Noosa.
My nephew was nicknamed Tooty as a baby - now he's 7 and they have to phase it out because, well, he's seven!
The multiple name thing - that needs it's own essay too... Arabs didn't traditionally have a "last name" so much as just a regurgitation of their entire lineage. So your name would be your name + dads name + dads' dads' name + and continue up the chain forever. Which made official documentation VERY tricky... I'm relieved that my official name is super simple. First and last. No more.
I would love to read about Egyptian nicknames! And Tooty is adorable lol
Heheheh noted
Yes! This is my understanding of how Native American names are given as well: that the lineage is such a part of one's identity, and therefore one's name, that naming oneself for example in public or in ceremony goes on for many minutes. I am open to correction here - as I say, this is my understanding.
It varies by language and culture. Like people of any other continent or global region, there's no one way to be Native American (or First Nation Canadian, etc.). If you have read Ursula Le Guin's Earthsea books, she based the custom of receiving different names for different life stages, or after significant life events, on some native Californian practices documented for Euro-Americans by her father, Alfred Kroeber (one of the founders of American Anthropology). The next time you see a reference to something like this, and the source does not cite the people or language it comes from, you can look forward to the pleasure of researching it and learning more!
I have not read any Ursula Le Guin - I keep meaning to and keep not getting to it. But it sounds fascinating.
I especially love her later Earthsea books (e.g. Tehanu), and most especially her unusual book "Always Coming Home". She imagines a far future after the collapse of the American civilization we know now, set in what looks like northwestern California, and does ethnographic research among a peaceful, matriarchal culture in "The Valley" there. She includes a very compelling oral history of one woman's life story as the daughter of a man who returns to The Valley as the leader of a patriarchal, authoritarian invading force. She has sections on cosmology and poetry and material culture as well--and she collaborated with musicians to make a tie-in recording of "Songs and Poetry of the Kesh"! She also interjects little wittily ironic interrogations of herself and her motives in creating this world and writing the book this way. It's one of my favorite things. :)
That sounds amazing! I’ve been struggling with novel reading for some time - I think it’s a burnout response. But I’m finally starting again - last week, on vacation, I read an incredible novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and it was so beautiful and immersive. I am slowly working my way up to read more, and maybe eventually I can get to this type of immersive experience.
Also, I really like the idea of receiving different names for different life stages or after significant life events. I've been writing about how life changes us, wondering what it is to change beyond recognition, and it feels fitting that identity and our identifier can shift together. I often feel that the name that was given to me at birth doesn't fully fit who I am now or who I may become. Nicknames also point to different phases of life. Even being called "mama" or its equivalent is a name that fits a life phase. Thanks again for sharing this perspective.
Thank you, Abbie. My source was my partner's experience participating in sweat lodge for years with local Tohono O'odham community. I receive and appreciate this reminder that there is no one way to be First Nation or Indigenous and I will keep doing the research! I love Ursula Le Guin and haven't read the Earthsea books. I appreciate the reference and this conversation with Noha very much.
Love this essay, and the comments! I should have put my anecdote here but I squished it into a restack 🤷🏻♀️…and i identify with the subtopic of nicknames and last names, omgggg….It is so fun to have this conversation 🤩 it gets convoluted 🥸
Rasha I neeeeeed to know how ppl say your last name because I’m inserting the 3ayn but I’m curious what other ppl say…
😂😂😂 omg we need to do a podcast or something because i could really go ON AND ON about how people pronounce my last name… 😭😭😭😭it’s a horror show mostly. the variations i’ve heard over the decades are fascinating.
and technically it’s spelled wrong. when my dad did initial paperwork long ago, some German bureaucrat spelled it like this, and my dad didn’t feel like getting it fixed 😆
in Cairo, my relatives spell it Rifai 😅
Rasha we are DOING A PODCAST!!!! For real for real! We could call it ‘the mispronounced’ 🙃🙃🙃🙃
ha! we could play off the album title “the miseducation of lauryn hill” and somehow make it “The mispronunciations of Noha and Rasha” 😆✨
I LOVE IT!!!!! We are doing this… I don’t know when, but we ARE doing this!!
💓 awesome, yes!!! we’ll find time 😅 i am in!!
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
So, the Mo I referred to in my comment prefers to use Mo. BUT, I shared your newsletter with my spouse, who asked his co-worker Mo, and he shared he only used Mo because his teachers claimed Mohattar (sp?) was too hard to remember. I'm not surprised by this but I am aggravated by it. My spouse told him 'unless you don't want me to, I would prefer to call you Mohattar' - Mohattar it is. Thanks again for this lovely essay. <3
OMG I'm so upset for Mohattar. (And I'm also surprised that I still get upset and surprised, because of course this happened). Really glad your spouse asked and got that answer. Grateful you ran with it.
Thank YOU for this essay! My spouse is in his 50s, and he said Mohattar is in his early 20s. My hope for society is that changing people's names without asking, simply for one's laziness/lack of effort stops being normalized.
Agreed.
This resonates with me, too! I do have the hyphen in my official paperwork, but didn't notice on my latest passport that they'd omitted it, and it almost caused me to not be able to get a new driver's license when I moved to a new state - my "official documents" didn't match. I had to get a corrected passport so I can be the "right" person on all my paperwork. I also have no middle name, but people always assume the "second name" in my first name is a middle name... it goes on. As a kid I dreamed of having a middle name like everyone else, (Anne-Marie Leigh Corley always sounded fun to me, though as a writer now it sounds a big sing-song-y). And now I LOVE, as you say, Noha, that my official name has no extras to it. All my names are used, first and last, nothing extraneous in the middle. That said, I'm totally considering four names for a child if I have one.... :P Oh, the nuance! It's a fun topic. And a weighty one, as this post and its discussion reveal. Our names are such a part of our identity, and it makes sense in that sense to name ourselves and our children from our lineage. And, to have some fun.
Last thing I'll add is that I wrote one of my college essays about the hyphen in my name, and how important it was to me... to differentiate myself by name, also being a twin, was a huge deal to me. Now I just appreciate my name and also have a slew of nicknames that have nothing to do with my actual name or that are the same name but in other languages.
Thanks for this thoughtful discussion!
Go for the 4 names! My son has 3 first names (one of which is, of course, Muhammad ☺️) and his last name. so unique. go for it!
Love this!
Ok the passport thing is crazy! Ugh I'm so frustrated for you but I think I'm also sleep deprived and thus easily frustrated heheheh...
I would love to read this essay! Do you know where it is? Are you comfortable sharing it? I do think your name is an excellent "writer's name" as you put it.
Thank you, Noha! I have looked for a hard copy but it seems I decided at some point to release it (not too sad about that, though). If I can find a digital copy that survived transfer from floppy disk, I'll share it with you. <3
Noha this essay makes me think of a recent discussion I had about names being changed at Ellis Island over the years. It’s really a myth that was perpetuated—when the facts were that most people changed their own names either themselves or in their home country pre-arrival to the US to make them sound easier—more “American.”
https://www.nypl.org/blog/2013/07/02/name-changes-ellis-island
I had no idea that Mohamed was that ubiquitous. A bit like “Bob.” ☺️
Thanks as always for opening my eyes. 👀
That's fascinating! Thank you for sharing the article. Yeah, Mohamed is super ubiquitous. I'm one of four girls, and three of us are married to Mohameds lol. The guys have to go by their last names when they're together.
Makes sense when it’s the name of your prophet.
yup! With 2 Billion Muslims it's a wonder there aren't MORE Mohameds heheheh...
Fair point. I’m thinking about how many babies are named Jesus in parts of the World. A lot I suppose. Maybe not as many as Bob ☺️
Hahaaa it's super common in Spanish speaking countries. In fact, there was a Jesus on the other team at the Liverpool Arsenal game we were at.
Thank you for this essay!
Yeah, regarding the second question, it does bother me sometimes. And what bothers me even more is how most of the time the "normal" is a synonym for western, English/American, while something that doesn't belong in western cultures is seen as "other". I was born and lived until recently in Eastern Europe, but now I'm mostly in an international environment, and I'm starting to notice how much of the "international" is actually mainstream western.
"International" really is just mainstream western. Which is a direct result of colonization and globalization. I benefit greatly from English being so widely spoken when I travel, but when you stop to think about why it's so widely spoken, it's not a good reason lol.
I remember in the summer of 2022, we went to Turkey to visit, and it was the first time I'd been in a country where many people did NOT speak English, and did not bend over backwards to accommodate my English. And it was weird! I'd gotten so used to the privilege of my go-to language being catered to, that I was annoyed at how much I had to rely on Google translate, or my nieces, who had been living there for a few years and learned Turkish. I'm pretty embarrassed to admit this, of course. I was the one in their country, not the other way around.
True, it's really convenient that English is so widely spoken, but on the other hand, it plays a major role in imposing western values on "other" cultures and deciding what's cool and popular and what's not. And don't even get me started on how internet helps it happen.
All true!! I'm happy that we're seeing more media from other cultures. Korean, Turkish, etc.... I mostly function in a Western paradigm but there are other ways of being, and they're all valid and valuable.
Absolutely! Sometimes I make a conscious effort to seek out media from more diverse cultures. Partly because I want to explore different perspectives, and partly because I'm getting sick of the "americanness" of the internet culture.
Yes. And every time I notice, it makes me 'itch'. Names are so important. It is only respectful to give people the time to roll their full and real names around in your mouth. I always ask when I notice that people are using a shortened 'Westernized' version, whether they would prefer to be called by their real name or to at least let me give it a try. Names are identity and I want people to know I'm happy to make an effort to know them. After all, I certainly hope they won't call me 'Da'!
Ha! What an excellent point. When you say "Da" it's so obviously bizarre, and yet the reverse is hardly ever considered.
I’ve always been bothered by how Non Muslims (and many Muslims) shorten the name Muhammad to Mo. This is the name of our beloved Prophet, who Allah chose to be the person our religion is based from. It’s an honorable name. It’s a name that screams “I’m a Muslim”. It’s a beautiful name, and that’s why it’s so popular.
May Allah teach us how to be proud of who we are…
Aameen aameen.
I’m a life long Liverpool supporter, and someone who regularly used Mo instead of Mohammed, so I’m happy to report your writing has moved me to change that. This is a poignant piece on the importance and culture of language, and names we’re born into
Jacob this is my favourite response of them all. Thank you for receiving this and being open to my thoughts
A great post, Noha. I had a colleague in Cairo called Mohammed Mohammed (that was the spelling he used). He was one of several Mohammeds, as you can imagine. We all called him Mohammed and everyone always seemed to know who we were talking about. There wasn't a single "Mo". By the way, although not a football fan myself, I once met Salah. He was truly charming. Needless to say, I threw dignity to one side and asked him for a selfie and to sign a football shirt for my son, who's a Liverpool fan.
In Egypt you can’t walk into a room without running into a Mohamed. Like if I did a tally of the number of Mohammad’s I know, I may never get to the end !
Do tell more about how you met Salah. What was the circumstance?
It's complicated, but basically a work thing. I was accompanying an Egyptian delegation to Liverpool University, and the chance arose to pop along to see Salah at the Liverpool training facility. He'd quite recently arrived.
Love it! Thx for the deets.
“There are harder names we’ve all learned to say. Tchaikovsky. Saoirse Ronan, Chloë Sevigny, Timothée Chalamet.
Mohamed is really not that hard. Try it. I dare you.” Perfectly put!!!
Thank you! It’s telling what we value with that extra time and effort to learn.
Names are so important!
They are.
I remember my mom telling me the story of how when her older sisters took her to register for her first day of grade school in Cleveland, Ohio, they changed her name from Stanislava to Sue -- to "Americanize" her and make it easier for teachers to say her name. First generation immigrant families from Eastern European countries were low on the pecking order. There is so much in a name, as your writing powerfully illustrates.
Oh Maia I’m so sorry this happened! Did she stay ‘Sue’ or still go as Stanislava?
She stayed 'Sue' for the rest of her life, sometimes alternated with "Sylvia." But she told the story well and it taught me a lot about what it means to be from an immigrant family, even though I was another generation removed from that.
I’m so sorry she lost her name, and I’m so glad she told the story. I think so much is lost and we regain a little by the telling
I love your name Noha.
I’ve always wished for a unique and different name. Mine being so plain and boring! I suppose as a youngster having something unique—whether culturally or because your parents were hippies and wanted to name you River it might not have been so great. But as an adult, different is cool! We almost named our daughter Mystic after a beautiful west coast beach, but thought against it when we pictured her at school, likely getting teased! Naming someone is an honour and challenge!
Awww Kim, I'm glad you held back for your daughter's sake. Isn't it funny that we want unique names as we're older, but want to fit in when younger. If only we could change our names when we were older without hurting our parents' feeling or feeling like something had changed.
It is both an honour and challenge. Mystic is actually gorgeous sounding.
I’ve never even considered calling one of my student named Mohammad “Mo.” Just thinking it seems weird.
Every time you talk about teaching, I wish you'd been my teacher.
Love this. I haven’t thought hard enough about it and I’m sure most white/ non Muslim people haven’t either.
It’s such a subtle thing, destroying identity. There are many examples in Scotland too where Gaelic road signs are constantly complained about and where place and people’s names have been slightly misspelled and mispronounced for so long that to say them or spell them correctly becomes somehow offensive.
Never be ashamed of who you are.
Thanks, Ruth. And yes, I imagine that the experience for both Scottish and Irish is very similar. The English is just assumed to be proper, even if it's not the actual correct name or word. Wish is bonkers but if you push something onto people enough, they eventually absorb it.
You have articulated my thoughts on this very well! I wonder if shortening Mohamed to Mo is part of the sports culture as I feel the same about Mo Farah's name. Does the short Anglicised Mo fits better when a sports player or athlete is representing a Western country?
Honestly sports culture is obsessed with nickhnames, but I know a lot of other Mohameds who people constantly call "Mo" without asking if they're ok with it first, so I'm not sure if it's a sports specific thing.
As to your other question, "Does the short Anglicised Mo fit better when an athlete is representing a Western country?" - I guess what I'm arguing is that it shouldn't, that other names that once weren't considered common are now part of the wider lexicon because people learned them, and that Mohamed can be to. I think our tendency to assume people can't say it is premature. I know they won't get every letter exactly right, but the effort counts.
Lovely piece Noha, thank you for sharing. Your story resonates deeply.
I think so much of this cultural shift is damage already done and it’s our generation (assuming we’re both 2nd-gen immigrants) job to reverse that and carry our Eastern heritage forward. I too wish to be a ‘baba’ one day, with my teammates and children calling out my full name as I run down the wing alongside Mohammeds and Yassines.
Amen amen to that! And I agree with you Thad it’s up to us - second gen here and doing my best to pass along the pride to my kids while recognizing that they are another generation along
Gave me a smile.
Thank you!!