Last year, as the Muslim month of fasting began, the war on Gaza was entering its 6th month. I found myself constantly thinking about the life of believers fasting through a man-made famine, about the experience of praying among rubble, about the intensity of dua1 in the face of so much loss.
I found myself thinking about what it means to be a Gazan during Ramadan. The poem I wrote at that time is shared below, with a link to the original post:
To Be a Gazan during Ramadan
What does it mean to be a Gazan
during Ramadan
What does it mean to fast
when you have not eaten in days
when the bread you can get is made from ground animal feed
and fistfuls of grass
What does it mean to search for a place
to pray in solitude
when every wall has been reduced
to rubble
to search for a place quiet enough to hear your voice
as you plead to God
over the din of the army drones
and Apache helicopters
What does it mean to stand in the ruins
of a bombed out mosque
to straighten your lines
to stand shoulder to shoulder
and foot to foot
on a salvaged mat or blanket
next to your brothers
or sisters
and raise your voice
that resonant amen
God tells us the prayers of the oppressed
go straight to heaven
God tells us the prayers of the oppressed
reach Him in the sky
faster than the bombs
reach the hospitals
the schools
the churches
the refugee camps
the apartment blocks
the tents
the destroyed water wells
the bombed out sewage systems
the university halls and concert halls
the roads and fields and hotels and factories and heritage sites and malls and homes and
babies
and children
and women
and men
I am ashamed of my plush blankets
my soft bed
my full belly
ashamed of the 3 course iftars I will eat
when the sun sets
and the plates of shakshuka and ful
with coffee and jam
I will down without thought
in a hurry before dawn
What does it mean to be a Gazan
during Ramadan
to be a Canadian
during Ramadan
to know that my worldly fortune
is dumb luck
not of my doing
to know I could be you
and you could be me.
Twelve months later, we are observing Ramadan again. A fragile ceasefire has stalled and threatens to collapse at any moment. In spite of the brief pause in bombing, life in Gaza remains near impossible.
The original conditions of the ceasefire included Israel’s allowing aid trucks, mobile homes, hospital and construction equipment to enter Gaza. Almost none of this has happened.
Perhaps most importantly, the conditions include the ceasing of any fire. And yet, an average of 6 Palestinians in Gaza have died each day from Israeli army bullets or bombs since the ceasefire went into effect. I suppose this number should be a small balm to our broken hearts, given that literally a hundred Palestinians were dying daily before the ceasefire. They’re not. Every death is a death too many. Every loss of life is the loss of a whole universe.
I have been lucky enough to find the words of several Palestinians in Gaza in recent months. To witness their endurance. To learn first hand from them the extent of the devastation.
In the spirt of both Ramadan and solidarity for Palestinians, I am sharing a round up related to both. These are either things I loved or things that moved me. I hope you they do the same for you.
is a writer who studied both English and French literature from the North of Gaza. She writes frequently on Notes and has recently started publishing full pieces on her experience surviving the genocide. To read even a sentence or two of her words is to love her. I feel like I am sitting with my younger sister. I want to reach into the screen and hold her hand, laugh together, exchange tea and cookies, stand side by side for the taraweeh prayer.
Mona also has a GoFundMe in place to help her family survive this impossible situation. Please give generously. Every little bit counts.
This video of Gazans having their pre-dawn meal among the rubble of their homes.
This well-researched explainer on the 10,000+ Palestinian hostages held in Israeli prison camps.
’s Ramadan series, where she has been sharing something beautiful for each day of the month. The poems get me the hardest. This one and this one.
Omar El Akkad’s new book, One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This. M and I went to see him speak at an event by the Ottawa International Writer’s Festival. The event was sold out, only a couple of days after sold out book launch events in Toronto.
Omar spoke about the narrative container required to allow for this genocide to unfold. He also spoke about the sanity-preserving aspects of being in a room with other people who are just as horrified by what is happening in Gaza. I could have taken pages of notes but I mostly listened. One thing he said that I did note down:
“Writing is an exercise in imagination. If the system is working for you, you don’t have to imagine anything else.”This thorough and fascinating episode of The Palestine Pod from
and Jewish American comedian Michael Schirtzer, where they sit down with Lena El-Malak to discuss her new book and the right to reparations for Palestinian refugees. If you’re a history or politics nerd or you like deep-dives, you will love this.This piece about the purpose of Ramadan from
says all the things I didn’t even know I wanted to say about why we fast. It’s not just about food and water.No Other Land winning best Documentary at the Oscars a week ago. Watch the acceptance speech here. Despite winning the Oscar, no studio has stepped up to distribute this movie.
’s encouragement to double and triple and quadruple down on istighfar and surat al-baqarah. I’m still in the early days but it has been both clarifying and altering. So much barakah2 here, alhamdulillah. For more info, check out her newsletter and listen to her podcast.
A note on programming: As we enter the second half of Ramadan, I might take a little sabbatical here to focus on worship and self-reflection, unless the muse beckons, in which case who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
If I manage to keep myself away from the screen, I’ll be back in a couple of weeks with more letters.
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Dua is the form of prayer where you just put your hand up and ask God for what you want. This is separate from the ritual prayer of salah, that Muslims perform 5 times a day, although dua is often made during salah.
Barakah means blessings.
Thank you Noha! Your poem made you even closer! I have no words, but I hope my prayers will do... Enjoy your iftar, enjoy Ramadan. At least one of us should enjoy it, no? Thank you again 🫂🤍
Thank you for helping me to come close to this madness today.