How It's Going: April 2025
A new monthly update/round-up
Welcome to How It’s Going. This is a new monthly round-up of my life and writing, and a chance to check in with you beautiful people.
This is a long one… if you’re reading on email and it cuts off, you can can click on "View entire message" to see the entire post.
Life Lately
I think I may be entering middle age.
In today’s terminology, I’m an elder millennial, but that just seems like a vanity term. I’m 42. If we use standard terminology, that’s middle-aged, right? Is it time for my mid-life crisis?
School is killing me this year, by which I mean my kids’ schools. It’s not one specific thing. It’s the constant merry-go round of tests and track meets and band nights and fun-days and all the other good stuff.
I’m grateful that they go to schools that challenge them. But there’s a part of me that shrinks back a little at each new email. This again? My kingdom for a weekend where I live on the couch from Friday to Sunday.
Mood
I’m in a post-Ramadan hangover. The month was so intense, so inwardly searching, that I’ve been lowkey coasting since it ended. And with spring and the world waking up again, the pace is only picking up. Spring means all the visits and all the activities and all the fun, but also all the planning. We’ve got a pretty chaotic summer planned (more to come on this later), and family will be in town soon.
Which leaves precious little room for writing. And yet, I keep coming back.
Here’s what I’ve discovered as the world outside gets uglier and darker. Even though things are tough, even though we have watched the real-time suppression of diverse and ethical voices, there are enough of us who want writing that chooses to humanize rather than demonize. There are enough of us who want to understand the real, lived experiences of Arabs and Muslims. There are enough of us who want a diverse media landscape.
Letters from a Muslim Woman is my response to the ugliness.
It’s a way to process. To sort through the mess of ideas in my head and pull the threads that fit together. The pleasant discovery that there are over 3500(!!) of you who care what a random Muslimah in Ottawa thinks about life, the universe and everything? Let me tell you, it has been soul-building.
Spring Unfinished Letters
This month, as part of my unfinished letters series for paid subscribers, I wrote about my experience with office racism.
This was a hard one, not because it meant recalling the racism, but because I’ve struggled for years with my reaction to it. Was I an enabler? Did my behaviour contribute to the environment rather than set boundaries?
The discussion in the comments was ultimately grounding and clarifying.
shared the new-to-me concept of “power over”, explaining that for some toxic people, making it seem like you’re in on the joke even as you’re the butt of it is part of their show of dominance.
I am beyond grateful for a place to process these feelings, and to hear from readers about their experiences with toxic people.
You think you’re over it, and then someone says the exact words you needed to read in the comments, and you let go the guilt you’ve held subconsciously for a decade.
In Case You Missed It
My essay on Names was published in WAYF Journal, an international literary and art journal for and by the diaspora. This is one of my favourite pieces, something I wrote around the same time I started this newsletter. You can get your copy here. Here’s a little excerpt:
Here on Letters, I’ve been thinking a lot about craft, and how “the right way” to write doesn’t work for those of us on the margins.
In a throwback to my first guide to Muslim vernacular, I wrote an essay on that most misunderstood of Muslim Phrases, Allahu Akbar
I also did a bit of housekeeping on the site, creating a page where you can find any writing and other media I’ve done out in the world.
If you poke around, you may be surprised to find some of my appearances on news and culture shows regarding hockey or hijab… I moonlight as a cultural commentator here and there. Not included are my podcast appearances on a Montreal Canadiens postgame show. If you’re interested in those hit me up in the comments and I’ll send you links to my rants about how the Habs should fire their general manager from 2023 🙃…
Don’t be afraid to be seen trying
This is a place of belonging in a world that’s adamant to convince us that some of us don’t belong. Even so, I struggle hard with the part where I show just how much I care, where I ask you to go all-in with me.
I read something recently on Notes though, and it shook me loose. It said Don’t be afraid to be seen trying. So here I am, trying.
I love it here, and I feel like a lot of you do too. Maybe you even want to help me make time for my book (which is the first casualty of my ridiculous schedule) by becoming a paid subscriber.
If a subscription is hard these days (have you seen the price of eggs??!) and you still want to offer support, you can buy me a coffee. And of course nothing fills my cup more than reading your comments and seeing the pieces I have poured my heart into shared far and wide.
What about you?
What’s your mood as we head into spring? Are you loving the warmth or is your heart hugging the couch, wanting more vegging time before summer chaos kicks in?
And finally, a meme that cracked me up
41 is NOT middle-aged. That's because 61 is middle-aged and anyone who disagrees will be BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY! 😎
Noha, congratulations on getting your piece published in WAYF. That’s so exciting! Also, I didn’t know you were contemplating writing a book, but you can count on my pre-order when the time comes. Your writing is poignant and moves my soul.
Honored to have my comment mentioned here to, and to have played some small part in helping you let go of that guilt. Thank you for sharing that story in the first place - that took guts. So many of us obviously could relate!